The following review is a fan review of Insane Championship Wrestling ‘Dave’s Not Here, Man!’ by Pixie.
ICW: Dave’s Not Here, Man Review
The night was opened with Billy f’n Kirkwood along with Simon Cassidy and Sean David coming down to the ring together. Billy got the crowd going which didn’t take much encouragement.
As MC Simon Cassidy started to announce the first match he was interrupted by the familiar sound of Colt Cabana’s music and i genuinely thought at that point that the roof was going to come off the building as he received a well deserved pop , apparently i was wrong as the second Grado’s music hit and 1000 fans began chanting and singing it seemed like Colt’s pop had been turned down a few bars on the volume box and that was when i knew it was going to be a good night.
The match started off with a lot of comedy spots which everyone expected from these two as i dare say they are two of the funniest if not the funniest wrestlers ever. The match finally ended up becoming a wrestling match rather than who can out funny the other with all of the action you’d expect from a Grado match and so much more. He managed an awesome rock bottom on the second attempt after Colt blocked the first one. After a perfectly executed Roll ‘n’ Slice from Grado he found himself in position for a Go To Sleep but got out of it just in time. The match continued at a steady pace before Grado got thrown some IrnBru and forced Colt to drink it after spitting it in his face. After this he hit a stunner and got the fall.
After the match, as soon as Colt had gone to the backstage area the NAK ran in and attacked Grado shouting about how every card is subject to change. It wasn’t long before Cabana came to Grado’s aid and the NAK retreated resulting in a celebration akin to those of Stone Cold Steve Austin only with Irn Bru instead of beer.
Next it was time for the match that was seemingly the highlight of some men’s years this far and featured Nikki Storm and Leah Owens in a bra and panties match, which seen Leah apparently get the upper hand as she ripped of Nikki’s shirt within minutes only to find that Nikki in fact had another shirt underneath and when Leah successfully removed that there was yet another beneath that each top smaller than the last so as to go un noticed b the referee. The match ended when Storm succeeded in removing both items of clothing worn by Owens much to the crowds delight.
After the match Leah Owens, who was still seeking revenge for her sister and wanted it before she left for Japan attacked Nikki storm and laid her out in the ring before jumping into the crowd.
The next match was announced and would see Jimmy Havoc take on James Scott. Jimmy made his entrance but as he entered the ring was beaten down by Scott who ran in before his music could hit. Scott announced that he had spoken to Dallas and this match would now determine who would face Rhino at the O2 ABC in Glasgow in October. The match was a typical match between these two with some pretty awesome holds thrown in. Jimmy caught James in a hells gate submission hold and fell with his shoulders down and the pin fall was counted just as Scott submitted resulting in a draw. ICW owner and promoter Mark Dallas then came to ringside and announced that because it was a draw, the match with Rhino would now be a 3-way dance, after the announcement James Scott hit Jimmy with Rhino’s finisher.
The tag match was next and was an elimination tag match for the ICW tag team championships. The Coffey brothers were first out to the ring accompanied by new recruit Christopher Saynt followed by fight club who appeared to be getting along a lot better. The Bucky boys made their entrance and again the roof almost came off. Team CK’s agent James R Kennedy came out to introduce them but as they came out and were in the middle of spraying their hair they were attacked by the NAK who then replaced them in the match. The match was a real action packed spectacular with every team giving their all, it wasn’t long until fight club were eliminated closely followed by the Coffey brothers. The match continued and saw a great show of athleticism from both the Bucky boys and the NAK but it wasn’t long before true ti style divers came through the crowd in plain clothes and interfered costing the Bucky boys the match and their beloved championship belts.
After the match Fight Club return and attack the Bucky boys before retreating.
Next on the card was the Andy Wild V Solar match. Solar was standing in for an injured Noam Dar who is, at this time still recovering. The Match itself was a fairly standard match; both men bringing their own unique skill-set to the fray. Solar was of course, flying high as usual, hitting a series of impressive moves including a hurricanranas and moonsaults. These however were countered quite efficiently by Wilde’s more grounded attacks. Wild used his more technical style to keep Solar down for the most part, but Solar managed to get a pin-fall before the match was restarted due to Wild’s foot being on the ropes eventually he won the match cleanly and quickly with a Boston Crab. All in all it was a good enough match, but proved to be more of a filler with the more anticipated Last Woman Standing match between Kay Lee Ray and Carmel.
The Fierce Females Championship was on the line next as Kay Lee Ray faced off against her long-time rival Carmel in a last woman standing match. Going into the match i heard a few people saying that they didn’t expect much from this match but these two clearly set out to prove those people wrong they battled all over the Picture House in a hard hitting effort which at one point saw KLR threaten a balcony dive. Both girls were going hammer and tongs and brawled onto the stage at one point where Viper whom KLR beat to secure her place in the championship final at “Luke: Who’s Yer Da?” in May attacked both girls with the championship belt. Kay Lee Ray was able to fight back and chased Viper off before hitting Carmel with a Widow’s Peak and a Senton to leave her down for the ten count and retaining her championship.
After the match long-time rivals Kay Lee Ray and Carmel hugged before Kay Lee announced that at next month’s Fierce Females show she will defend the belt against both Viper and Amazing Kong!
ICW owner Mark Dallas makes his way to the ring accompanied by CPT as well as Jamie Feerick and JD Bravo and announces that he had taken a blow to the head last month when he said everything he said about hating the fans and no longer representing ICW. He told the crowd he loves them all and from now on ICW will be more hardcore, more sleazy and more… he didn’t get to finish as he was interrupted by the debuting David the Beloved who came to the ring accompanied by former STI’s valet Sara. He went on to cut a promo about how all of the ICW fans need to be saved and how he was the man to do it. The crowds reaction was mixed but mostly from where i was standing he was being heckled. His promo was cut short when a hooded figure jumped the guardrail and laid him out before being revealed as none other than Lionheart!
The next match shocked alot of people as they assumed it would have been the main event however due to matters outwith iCWs control this match had to take place now. We would see Wolfgang and Mikey Whiplash lock horns with the winner taking home both the ICW Zero-G Championship and the ICW Heavyweight Championship. This match was the one match that had fans truly split almost down the middle as to who they wanted to see walk away with the belts. The match was a great display of both technical wrestling and high flying moves and several times looked like Wolfgang was going to take the belts home, after being thrown out of the ring Whiplash crawled underneath, but when Wolfgang dragged him out it wasn’t Whiplash at all…its was Jam O’Malley who then went on to help Whiplash get the win by distraction and interfering.
There was only ever going to be one match that could finish off the show that broke records. Billed as ICW’s Hardcore Icon; Jack Jester original. The Match began with Jester making his way to the ring, the crowd giving him a very warm reception. He was then followed by Sabu. He stood on top of the stage, at the head of the ramp, pink steel chair in hand and soaking up the explosive reception he received. After Sabu entered the ring, the match got underway, the ECW Legend swinging his weapon wildly causing Jester to back away, retreating to the backstage area to retrieve a chair of his own, tossing it into the ring and the match finally got going properly. Both men drew blood relatively quickly, sustained by a chair and Jester’s favoured corkscrew. The fighting spilled out to ringside, resulting in the use of several tables, chairs and various other implements to cause pain. The match wound down to the point where Sabu had Jester worn down, leaning against a table and Sabu was climbing the turnbuckle. As he jumped from it towards Jester, the ICW legend moved out the way, causing Sabu through the table accidentally, giving Jester the opportunity to deliver his signature tombstone piledriver onto the broken table, enabling him to get the 1,2,3 and ultimately the win against Sabu.
Amid the celebrations of Jesters win Mikey Whiplash came back out to the top of the ramp and told the crowd how he had beaten every man put in front of him since winning the belt, but Jester was the only one from his past that was a thorn in his side. It was announced that Whiplash would face Jester in October at the O2 ABC for the ICW Heavyweight Championship.
All in all a fantastic show and it just goes to show that if you dream big you can be big.
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